youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
