sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize