Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
