You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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