i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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