Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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