that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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