I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
