So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I looked at my own cervix.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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