I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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