Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
