And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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