im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
