this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
