Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
