Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
