turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we're making bets on your personal life
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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