from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
