Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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