god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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