I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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