Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

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(940): View more from Texas

never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

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(519): View more from Ontario

i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep

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(518): View more from New York

it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was

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(720): View more from Colorado

He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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(914): View more from New York

my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did

(617): View more from Massachusetts

So it was a successful night I take it?

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