Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
