uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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