how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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