i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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