Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
