i think i have herpe
just one?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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