Screwed.edu
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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