Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
