i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize