just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
