Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
