So drunk its hurt
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
