even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
