planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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