I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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