At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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