So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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