What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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