If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
tell me about the fingering
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