No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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