So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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