Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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