I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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