On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
