your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
