omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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