This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
