I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
