road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
