I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
