One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
