I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
