I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
