someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
