Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
