Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
