i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
how drunk are you?
Several
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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