i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
